iDo, PeRo NuNcA oLviDaDo

I lost a friend yesterday.....NO, I lost more than just a friend. He was one of my closest friends, he was my brother in a sense. Although we were from different families , when i was around his I felt like they were mine. I will NEVER forget you EDWIN VIVAS!

TU ERES MI HERMANO POR SIEMPRE 

I will never forget the adventures we would have when we went on out of town installs. How much food can one man eat? LOL Everywhere we went you had to make sure you were fed and there was food close by in case of "emergency" fueling was needed to keep us going. I will never forget when we had to share hotel rooms....we had a blast seeing who could stink out who first lol. I will never forget how when we were both exhausted after working 16 hours straight with no breaks, you would push us to do just a few more hours.I will never forget your positive attitude on a daily basis. Even all the odds were stacked against you, you found a way make sure you did everything possible to make it go right.

As for knowing the family man part of you, that was a blessing. We would talk for hours about our home lives and how much each of us went through the same problems and the same pleasures.You were an inspiration to me to hold it together as much as i could through my daily struggles of life. You loved your family as much as one person possibly could. You always put them first and sacrificed your mind and body to do so. 

I could sit here and write for hours about all the good times and positive thoughts we shared together.And i will forever cherish all of them. 

I guess it finally has hit me today that I will never get to see you or shake your hand every morning when i get to work. I miss you already. I feel like a piece of me is gone. I will never forget you...EVER

I love you with all my heart and soul.

R.I.P. my friend 

CuT yOUr tOnGuE

 I know a few people that would have a shredded mouth! 

I've learned by trial and error that anything you say negative is going to eventually come back and haunt you. So why even open your mouth. Half the time when someone is talking shit, that's all they are doing......just talking shit. They cant back it up. They make idle threats that never happen and make themselves look so stupid its hilarious. 

I personally know an individual that has talked so much shit, that anything they say , no one even believes anymore. They cant validate anything. How can you live your life that way?! You are perceived as a liar. And no one likes a liar! You alienate yourself slowly from your friends then your family and eventually you are left standing alone with your dick in your hand going "What the fuck just happened?". And then your all alone to deal with your bullshit problems.

So basically, don't talk a bunch of shit! Give the same respect you wish to receive. Its not that hard. But i guess for some it is......

gOiNg ThRoUgH HeLL.....AlMoSt ThErE

My adventure began January 16th. I was walking into the hospital,from the parking lot , to see my niece being born. Excited about being an uncle for the first time, i wasnt paying attention to the road infront of me. I stepped off the curb and rolled my left ankle. When tying to catch my balance i roled onto my right ankle. I looked down at my right foot just in time to hear and see my bone pop out the side of my ankle. It sounded like bubble popping. It didnt really hurt that much when it happened. I laid in the middle of the road not being able to get up. i looked down at my foot , my leg was straight and my foot was turned completly to the right. I thought "Thats not right".

the pain started after trying to get into a wheelchair that a lady who saw me fall rushed into the hospital toretrieve

EvErYoNe WaNtS oNe.......JuSt HaVe tO fInD iT

I found this on Facebook and it is worth reading and definitely worth doing.

www.buddhistbootcamp.com

What a healthy relationship looks like

Relationships are often misunderstood to be a simple commitment between two people; a dedication to each other with a sense of belonging to one another. Unfortunately, that kind of limited perspective breeds expectations, possessiveness and disappointment, and it reeks of ownership, greed, ignorance, and selfish desire. 

A healthy relationship is an agreement between two people to support each other's life practice. It is a vow to encourage each other's dedication, devotion and path, free from attachment or expectations (yet full of caring and compassion). A healthy relationship is based on unconditional love, not one where your need is to possess. Although you put plenty of "heart" into it, you lose nothing by giving it away. If each person is equally dedicated to inspire, create, awaken and enrich the lives of others, then there is no hidden agenda. It is far less important what one receives from the other as what one can give. Intimacy would suddenly surpass warmth and tenderness to also include patience, vulnerability, honesty, active listening, understanding, connection, and unwavering trust. 

There is a healing power inherent in this kind of union, and it is capable of deep transformation for both people. It is an incredible opportunity to actually practice what you learn (from non-violent communication to meditation, listening, mirroring, authenticity, resolve, radical honesty, appreciation, purpose, equality, celebration, and mutuality). A healthy relationship is a collaboration of sorts: two peaceful warriors spiritually supporting one another on their individual journeys to spread positivity and light. 

LiFe'S cUrVe BaLLs - kEeP oN sWiNgInG!

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!

AmErIcAn

• 
  
  
  

• Wrote by an Australian Dentist

           To Kill an American

wOW who da thunk it??

  I've been writing my blog since 2009. I never started writing it thinking anyone would really spend any time reading it. Who really cares to read the bullshit that goes on in my life that I wanna put into print. Lord knows I've had my ups and downs and put it out there on the internet for all to view ,But now I've just reached 20,500 views! I hope to I can keep writing to entertain myself and who ever else stumbles across my crap. WOW is all I have to say......and thanx

so true.....check it

I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off ― Chuck Palahniuk

i LoVe It WhEn.........

I love it when.........

  We have a conversation and the entire time its just you talking. Making no logical sense. Making things up as you go.
I love it when.........
  We are walking together and you reach up to hold my hand for no reason but to just hold hands.
I love it when.........
   I pick you up to hug you and you squeeze me so tight I cant breath, but I hold just as tight and hold my breath hoping it never ends.

I love it when.........
  We make silly faces at each other and laugh hysterically trying to make a face funnier than the last.
I love it when.........
  Your asleep and i can just lay next to you and watch you sleep, making sure your safe and warm.
I love it when.........
  Out of nowhere and for no reason except to say it...You tell me you love me.
I love it when.........

  When you come inside with a handful of dead bugs telling me you want to keep them and I try to explain to you that they are dead but you insist they are "just sleeping".
I love it when.........
  I know all I have to do is think of your smile and your face and all stresses of the day are gone. No matter what challenges life hands me I know I will always have you in my life to bring me joy and happiness.
  

HoPe YoU kNoW......

   I know I love you because I want to get you soup when you’re sick. Not only do I want to get it for you, I want to make it for you so you can eat something made with love instead of with crushed insects and preservatives. I know I love you because I want to slap anyone who hurts you, even if it’s your boss. I want to hold you when you’re having a nightmare and kiss the spot that hurts when you bump into something. I know I love you because I want you to be healthy even when you’re not sick, and that’s why I keep bugging you to change your crappy eating ways even though I know you’re over hearing about it.
I know I love you because I worry about the stuff only people who love you worry about, like the amount of quality sleep you get a night and how much you drink when you’re sad and whether you’re getting enough vitamin B. Like probably more than your mom does, I’m not sure she especially cares about vitamin B. I know I love you because I freak out when you’re obviously disintegrating yet too stubborn and too “I’m fine” to actually go to the doctor, even though I do that sort of thing myself.
I know I love you because I think you’re beautiful even when you’re not. And I don’t mean good-looking, I mean beautiful, beautiful like there’s something pervasive and magnetic about you that comes through even when you look positively bad. I think you’re beautiful even when you’re hungover and puking your guts out, covered in hives, or when half your face is purple and swollen because you decided to act out Fight Club and punched yourself in the eye too hard. I know I love you because I think you’re beautiful even when you’re wearing Crocs and that’s no small accomplishment.
I know I love you because I can’t abandon you, not even when you’re being a dick. Not even when you’re being ten dicks. Normally I don’t put up with that sort of behavior but I love you and I understand you’re stressed or frustrated or PMS-y so I’ll let it slide for a little bit. But I also love you enough to call you out on it when it gets to be too much. I know I love you because only people who love you care to say something about your bad behavior instead of saying nothing and just calling you an asshole behind your back.
I know I love you because I want to listen, I really do. I don’t have anywhere to be that can’t wait for a while and I’m not checking my phone, in fact turned it off and buried it in the cushions the moment you said you needed me. I’m here for you and that other thing can wait.

I know I love you because I’m truly concerned with how your life turns out. It’s not just that I want you to “be happy” or attain that vague self-helpy “inner peace” bullshit we’re all supposed to aspire toward, I want you to express yourself and be fulfilled and feel like you’re living life for a good reason, not just passing the time. I want everything to work out for you the way it should and I want to be there for it, occasionally with champagne.

And I’m genuinely convinced that I love you because I want to do things for you that I don’t want to do for anyone, ever. Examples:I’ll stand there patiently with a video camera as you attach piranhas to your nipples when you’re broke and trying to get on Jackass, all that and more. That’s how I know I love you, and I hope you know it too

JuMpEd.....

jump......

   Sometimes we meet people in our lives that maybe we shouldn't have met. We have our share of good encounters and bad ones...each tested who we are,who we have become and who we want to be.

   At the end of the day I think that ive been lucky to encounter both. Ive had the best people enter my life and ive had the worst. Ive had people who have lifted my spirit so high and made me learn so much,enriched my life in ways they will never know and made me grateful to be alive.

   Ive had the worst people enter and leave my life,who broke me down,made me question my self worth and tested me to see how strong and how much i could really take. 

   Ive had my heart opened and broken. Ive given too much and gotten too little. But, Ive  also gotten so much from all of those. Sometimes its the people in your life who hurt you who actually help your inner YOU more than you know. Its when someone pushes you to the edge....when they make you wanna jump...when they make you feel like you have no options.....that you get the strength !

   Ive been on that edge of a hopeless cliff. Ive had all my emotional baggage strapped to my back...so heavy and about to tip me over.....and it is at that moment....that I chose to jump....and do you know what happened?....I flew....I let go. I was FREE. I jumped from that ledge of insecurity, of false promises, of endless tears and unbearable grief, of misery and denial, and I left that person behind. I left everything I thought was comfort and realized there was more beyond the horizon...just passed that ledge I was on...and I soared. 

   So sometimes we meet people who push us to that limit...because we need to learn that life is all about risks...and it requires you to jump. Dont be the person who always has to think "what if?".....take a stand for yourself...for all you are and all you ever wanted to be...let go of what holds you down,what hurts you....what makes you thinkl you cant fly....AND JUST JUMP.....

HeY lAdiEs.....

Many girls obsess about how to be the perfect girlfriend. The truth is most guys are happy enough just to have a girlfriend. However, it is important to know that for guys, being respected is the most important thing. Guys want to know that you think they are powerful and strong. Also do not disregard his complement. If he tells you that he thinks that you look beautiful, don't tell him that you are ugly. You may be acting modest, or displaying your own insecurities, but to him, you are saying that his complements don't mean a thing.

YoUr NoT AlOnE

   Right now, there are people all over the world who are just like you. They’re lonely. They’re missing somebody. They’re in love with someone they probably shouldn’t be in love with. They have secrets you wouldn’t believe. They wish and they dream and they hope, and they look out the window whenever they’re in the car or on a bus or a train and they watch the people on the streets and wonder what they’ve been through. They wonder if there are people out there like them. They’re like you, and you could tell them everything and they would understand.

  And right now, they’re sitting here reading these words, and I’m writing this for you so you don’t feel alone anymore.

iT hApPeN's WhEn YoUr NoT lOoKiNg

I wasnt even looking....

I never thought I would find it....

I didnt even know what to look for...

Sometimes life has a way of surprising you....

  For the last few months of my life I decided to become the person I really wanted to be. I wasnt going to be afraid of what others thought about me nor did I even care. I had to do this for me!  After figuring out who I really was on the inside, things started to fall into place. I realized who I wanted in my life and the people I wanted to surround myself with. I had no way of knowing how to do the changes and evaluations of myself. I just jumped in with both feet and the payoff has been fantastic!

   Its a nice feeling when you start to notice things around you moving in a positive direction. Alot of my decisions have been very difficult and not everyone was happy with them. But in the end I feel its been a win-win situation for all involved.

   As of right now my life has made a surprising leap in a happy direction. I hear the music of life and see the colors of the world in a whole new way. This is what I have been looking for my whole life and I wont let it go without a fight. And the best way to keep it going is to challenge myself to be better on a daily basis.

ArRiVaL

....it is true, that we dont know what we have until we lose it......

..............BUT.................

.....it is also true, that we dont know what we have been missing, until it arrives...

# 10 oF ?

                       I figured Im going to come up with a few New Years resolutions        
#10...........BE LOYAL........ You will fail at it. You have already. A man who does not know loyalty, from both ends, does not know men. Loyalty is not a matter of give-and-take: He did me a favor, therefore I owe him one. No. No. No. It is the recognition of a bond, the honoring of a shared history, the reemergence of the vows we make in the tight times. It doesn't mean complete agreement or invisible blood ties. It is a currency of selflessness, given without expectation and capable of the most stellar return. Being loyal is doing the right thing at the right time and making sure the significant ones in your life benefit from the decisions you make on a daily basis.....

On ThE uP aNd Up

  Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world who’s struggling, who’s frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by.  But that feeling is a lie.  And if you just hold on, someone will find you and help make it better.  Because we all need a little help sometimes – someone to help us hear the music in our world.  To remind us that it won’t always be this way.  That someone is out there right now.
  Sometimes we accidentally allow small problems to escalate and dominate our lives.  If we get overcharged a few cents,some idiot cuts you off, it is irritating, but don’t let it ruin your day.  There will always be small issues that irritate us, the secret is to be able to give them the miniscule level of importance they deserve.
  We are not alone.  No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic we feel about our own situation, there will be others out there experiencing the same emotions.  When you hear yourself say “I am all alone,” it is your mind trying to sell you a lie so you will continue to feel sorry for yourself.Face it head on and say "F THAT"!
  Everyone wants a perfect ending.  But over the years I’ve learned that some of the best poems don’t rhyme, and many great stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, or end.  Life is about not knowing, embracing change, and taking a moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next.

ExTrAcTiOn...

 They were a major part of your life; of course you’ll miss them  it’s perfectly normal. It’s like getting a tooth pulled out; after the dentist pulls it, you’re relieved. But how many times do you run your tongue over the spot where it once was ? Probably a hundred times a day.just because it was hurting you, doesn’t mean you don’t notice it. It leaves a gap, and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It’s going to take a while, but it always takes some time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you pain. Pulling the tooth was the right decision, but it’s still going to hurt.

SoMeBoDy LoVeS YoU

 Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage!
 Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick. Unsure if someone really gives a shit about you? Fake a case of food poisoning and text them being like, “oh my god, so sick. need water.” Depending on their response, you’ll know whether or not they REALLY love you. “That’s terrible. Feel better!” earns you a stay in friendship jail; “Do you need anything? I can come over and bring you get well remedies!” gets you a cozy friendship suite. It’s easy to care about someone when they don’t need you. It’s easy to love them when they’re healthy and don’t ask you for anything beyond change for the parking meter. Being sick is different. Being sick means asking someone to hold your hair back when you vomit. Either love me with vomit in my hair or don’t love me at all.
Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you.
Somebody loves you if they don't mind the quiet. They don't mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There's no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don't feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won't be a void. That's not love. That's "hey babe! i like you okay. do you wanna grab lunch? i think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!" It's a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you're skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it's always comfortable. That is fucking love.
Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn't benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them. Never underestimate the gift of understanding. When there are so many people who are selfish and equate relationships as something that only must make them happy, having someone around who can take their needs out of any given situation if they need to.
Somebody loves you if they can order you food without having to be told what you want. Somebody loves you if they rub your back at any given moment. Somebody loves you if they don't care about your job or how much money you make. It's a relationship where no one is selling something to the other. No one is the prostitute. Somebody loves you if they'll watch a movie starring Cameron Diaz because you really really want to see it. Somebody loves you if they're able to create their own separate world with you, away from the internet and your job and family and friends. Just you and them.
  Everyone should find that someone and hold on to them. Cherish the memories that you have created and never stop trying to make today better than yesterday...

HaPpY MoThErSdAy !!!!!!!!!

It took a special sort of someone to help raise my brother and I. It took someone who was not afraid to deal with life's earth shattering blow's, or the dreaded unknown. Someone who was compassionate when needed and hardened when she had to be. It definatley took bravery. It took bravery to tell the fire department that we didnt mean to burn down the overgrown alley way or to tell the police officers that we didnt mean to deface public property. It took bravery to trust in herself not to squeeze our necks really tight because we got home to late or didnt come home at all. And to believe all the times we said " we didnt do it "!.....You did believe us right?....

Thanks mom for everything you have ever done for my brother and me. We love you very much. 

HAPPY MOTHERSDAY